Andrea
Andrea
I felt seen for the first time
From a very young age, Andrea felt insecure and struggled with what she describes as strange thoughts.
She took comfort in the love and strength of her mother, but when her mother passed away when Andrea was 15, the loneliness and sadness that Andrea felt was devastating. The depression that Andrea developed impacted all areas of her life.
Nothing gave me pleasure or happiness. Soon after that, the binge eating started. I felt so empty that I would go to my pantry and finish everything in five minutes. I felt good doing it. But soon after, the guilt would come and I would have to go and throw it all up.
Growing up, Andrea had issues with poor self-esteem. For her, it was very important how she looked physically. Bulimia started to become part of her life.
Despite having bulimia, I stayed at a normal weight. No one noticed because a mental health problem is not something you see.
As time went on, she noticed that she was hurting herself and that if she didn’t save herself no one was going to.
Andrea started eating right and exercising. But everything took a turn and she became obsessed with exercise, counted calories, and wanted to lose more and more weight. She lost so much weight that others noticed.
Her father told her that she was getting out of hand, as she was eating only 500 calories a day.
I finally felt like things were going right for me. Anorexia is an eating disorder that is more physically visible, so I felt seen for the first time. But my body was trying to scream out that I needed help.
“Having a diagnosis does not define me. With or without it, I can be a functional person and can fulfill my dreams.”
As a result of anorexia, her father took her to a nutritionist and psychologist. For the first time, she was relieved to realize she was not alone.
Andrea began to regain weight, but she started to feel like she looked fat again and the repetitive cycle returned. Bulimia became part of her life again, but she made it through with God and with the help of medication and therapy.
As time went by, many strange and ruminative thoughts came to her. She became curious about what she was feeling and searched the internet to find out what was wrong with her and realized that what she was experiencing was anxiety.
Andrea reached the point of not wanting to live, because she felt that she was in constant danger and her mind was invaded by fear. This prompted a diagnosis of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
A combination of psychological and medication therapy helped her to stabilize and feel better.
I know that taking medication is not going to magically make me recover. These pills will help me, but I have to do the work too.
Currently, Andrea has never felt better than the way she feels now. She knows that it is important to go to the psychologist, but the most important thing is what you do to break the unhealthy patterns in your life.
God became the center of my universe, He filled my emptiness and filled it with love. If no one saves me, I have to save myself. It is not my fault what happened to me, but it is my responsibility.
Andrea wants to talk about mental health in order to be the support for others that she did not have.
Having a diagnosis does not define me. With or without it, I can be a functional person and can fulfill my dreams.
Andrea’s story is also available in Spanish
