Vanessa
Vanessa
Representation matters
I’m known for being brutally honest about my condition because I think it’s extremely important to normalize mental health.
Representation matters, and I think having folks speak out about their own experiences helps make it real for people.
Vanessa understands all too well how misconceptions, stigma, and simple ignorance can make life harder for people with mental health struggles. Diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), Vanessa has been dealing with her issues since she was about seven years old.
For most of her life, she has seen and heard how people misunderstand her conditions and judge those who have been similarly diagnosed. Also, she has endured stigma because of the treatment she has received, which includes electroconvulsive therapy (ECT).
My diagnosis is hugely stigmatized. It took me a long time to come to terms with that. It took me even longer to decide to talk about it, but I finally did.
The representation of BPD in popular culture is so bad—it’s often used as code for ‘sociopath.’ People need to understand that this is not the case, that people with the condition are not evil.
When Vanessa was seven, the nanny who had been caring for her had a stroke, and Vanessa never saw her again. At this point, Vanessa started to overeat and engage in self-harm.
I had a nanny who kind of mysteriously vanished, and that was really devastating for me. But I was already prone to mental health challenges because of my family history with anxiety and depression.
“Try not to be afraid. There really is help out there. It could be hard to find, and it could be a frustrating process, but you owe it to yourself to do it because otherwise, you’re going to be increasingly miserable. It doesn’t get better on its own.”
Vanessa’s parents took her to get help, which began a long journey to arrive at the right treatment plan.
I’ve seen a whole bunch of different therapists, and I’ve tried most medications for my conditions on the market. I’ve probably tried 30 to 40 different medications. It has not been a fun or easy process.
Vanessa has worked through that process, and she finds herself in a good place.
Today, with the support of her therapist, her sisters, and a few close friends, she is moving forward with her life and career. She works as a nanny. And, although she faces occasional challenges caused by her BPD and PTSD, she is uses her experiences to help the kids she cares for.
I’ve had a couple of days when I’ve had to leave work because I just got overwhelmed and started crying, but that doesn’t happen very often.
I think I’m over-sensitive to things, but there are ways in which that makes me better with kids. The sensitivity helps. Being really tuned into other people’s emotions is very helpful.
Based on her journey battling stigma and navigating the mental health system, Vanessa encourages others to keep fighting—even though it’s not always easy.
Try not to be afraid. There really is help out there. It could be hard to find, and it could be a frustrating process, but you owe it to yourself to do it because otherwise, you’re going to be increasingly miserable. It doesn’t get better on its own.
