Shirley
Shirley
I just needed to hang on
It was tough to be in therapy. In fact, I’ve often said every session was like wrestling with an alligator.
I was encouraged to keep going, though, because my therapist kept telling me that there was light at the end of the tunnel.
I just needed to hang on.
Going through treatment for her dissociative identity disorder (DID) was not easy for Shirley. She battled for years to find the right therapist, one who listened to her and understood her depression and trauma.
Also, working through difficult issues like child abuse during therapy sessions took a toll.
Working with mental health professionals has been a very long and arduous trek.
I did not feel better immediately. In fact, I felt much worse for a while.
In 1990, Shirley was diagnosed with DID, once called “multiple personality disorder.” A year earlier, she began to experience deep depression and flashbacks to images she did not understand—images of herself as a child and teenager being brutalized by her grandfather.
To be clear, I knew I had been abused by my grandpa, but I didn’t remember the extent of the damage he had done.
“I love where my healing has led me, and I wouldn’t trade where I am in my life for the world.”
Frightened by the images, Shirley decided to seek the help of a psychotherapist.
I found a therapist who worked for a clinic near where I lived, and I began an adventure that would last for over 20 years.
My therapist didn’t give me a diagnosis beyond major depression and anxiety for months as she watched me closely, observing and listening to me.
I would space out in her office and tell her about losing time and finding myself in strange places without knowing how I got there. I was often accused of saying things I did not remember.
Those things had happened to me all my life but had suddenly gotten worse.
After a while, Shirley’s therapist gave her a diagnosis of DID.
From that day forward, we worked hard to get me stabilized so that I wouldn’t self-destruct, and if it had not been for her professionalism and skills, I would have been stuck in the limbo that many with DID find themselves in when searching for a therapist.
On average, it takes people with DID 11 years to find a therapist that they can work with and who can help them heal.
Shirley continues to work with a therapist. As hard as her healing journey has been, Shirley is happy with the progress she has made.
I love where my healing has led me, and I wouldn’t trade where I am in my life for the world.
Based on her experience, she wants to encourage others to reach out for help if they feel they need it.
One hundred percent of all humans will experience a mental health crisis in their lifetime.
Someone will die, a fire will start, a child will get lost, and all are vulnerable. You are not different from anyone else.
Besides, what others think of you doesn’t matter. It is who you are as a person that matters.
