Jamorra
Jamorra
I don’t want to live in secrecy
Jamorra was a senior in high school when she experienced her first suicidal thought, and she didn’t know how to make sense of it. As she tried to navigate her emotions, Jamorra immersed herself in the arts and in her community.
Still, the confusion and weight of what she was experiencing did not go away. Like many young Black women, she was also navigating expectations about strength and resilience as she struggled internally.
I wasn’t exploring who I was as an individual. My mental health struggles affected my physical health, relationships, and hygiene, and I felt resentful to the theater and art I was spending my time involved in.
Over the next five years, Jamorra lived with recurring suicidal thoughts and faced challenges at work, at home, in relationships, and with her self-esteem. For Jamorra, these struggles were also shaped by her identity. As a Black woman with darker skin, she grappled more deeply with body dysmorphia and cultural beauty standards.
I started to compare myself to others. New insecurities came up and I tried to fix problems that weren’t there.
After receiving negative comments about her skin color, she tried to “fix” her dark skin using multiple products that ultimately caused severe chemical reactions. Jamorra felt overwhelmed with no clear way forward.
It was too much to deal with all at once. I would cry. I would pray. I would talk to my family. I called 988 all the time. I would listen to my favorite songs over and over again in hope that my dreams would come true.
But those strategies weren’t enough. I decided I wanted to live a life focused on being happy.
Jamorra sought professional help, and, through therapy, she started to better understand her emotions and develop tools to manage them.
As my face healed from the chemical reactions, I looked inward for confidence. I learned how to handle the problems I faced one by one and realized I can’t fix everything at once. I learned how to organize my thoughts and emotions, so they don’t consume me.
“My nickname is Bird, and every time I see a bird stretch its wings to fly it makes me feel resilient. Whenever I feel down, I look at birds in the sky. If they can fly, I can too.”
Jamorra also made some significant changes: she started college, removed toxic people from her life, stepped away from social media, strengthened her relationship with God, and immersed herself in hobbies that brought her a sense of fulfillment.
We don’t talk about our emotions enough. The world is a difficult place, and I think it’s important for us to have a better sense of the tools we have.
Jamorra also made the decision to share her story, hoping it might help others feel less alone and normalize conversations around mental health. She believes that being transparent about what you are going through not only helps you heal but also creates space for others to do the same.
When I was younger and going through these hard times, I felt alone. I want to share my story and for it to reach someone. I want people to keep going.
Jamorra’s battle with depression is ongoing, but it is not something she faces with shame. Instead, she meets it with intention; taking things one step at a time and building a life centered around what brings her joy. For Jamorra, joy is not the absence of hardship, it is something she chooses despite it.
Healing is not linear, nor is life. My nickname is Bird, and every time I see a bird stretch its wings to fly it makes me feel resilient. Whenever I feel down, I look at birds in the sky. If they can fly, I can too.
