Sandy
Sandy
Speaking up felt good
At just 8 years old, Sandy had her first experience with depression. It would be more than thirty years before she was able to be open with her community about her experiences with mental health challenges.
Having struggled broadly with mental health challenges—depressed mood, obsessive and compulsive thoughts, substance use, suicidal ideation and attempts, and social anxiety at varying points throughout childhood and adolescence—it wasn’t until after the birth of her first child that Sandy sought therapy.
Her road to recovery was complicated. At one point, she had to move away from her two youngest children and ex-husband in order to get well and mentally stable.
I was barely functioning. My behavior was erratic. I had traumatized my family enough.
Progress for Sandy may not have been linear, but receiving treatment was meaningful for her in a myriad of ways.
Receiving an accurate diagnosis was crucial for Sandy. Early in her treatment experience, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder with borderline features. Doctors recognized her experience of intermittent depression with periods of elevated mood and noticed traits of instability in Sandy’s interpersonal relationships and sense of self.
For Sandy, receiving an official borderline personality disorder diagnosis was a turning point.
Once I received the proper diagnosis, I said, ‘That’s what was missing.’ For me, having the correct diagnosis is essential because it demands a different therapeutic approach.
With an accurate diagnosis in hand and years of advocating for her treatment under her belt, Sandy took steps toward recovery.
“I never thought there would be a day I’d be happy to be alive. But I’ve learned that there is hope. There is so much hope.”
Over the years, therapy has helped her cope with difficult situations and family stresses. It has aided her to clarify and achieve her goals, like owning a home and getting a master’s degree.
She stopped drinking, started taking recommended medications consistently, and prioritized getting enough sleep. She started seeing a skillful new therapist. With the support of a peer support group, Sandy also began to open up more broadly about her experiences.
I became serious about getting better by dedicating myself to my treatment plan.
People were more supportive than Sandy could have ever imagined.
Once I began to open up about my mental health diagnosis and medication regimen, many others shared similar experiences with me.
Sandy is now an avid advocate in the effort to change attitudes about mental health. She has led peer support groups, attained a degree in mental health counseling, became a presenter for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and publishes articles she has written about her experiences in an effort to reduce stigma.
The more I can share my experience in different venues, the better.
Sandy still sometimes experiences stigma, particularly from within. She struggled in silence from childhood until her late 30s. So, she wants others to know—especially the younger generation who might be going through something similar—that seeking treatment early and opening up about their experiences can make all the difference and lead to a brighter future.
Self-stigma is what I experience most, but you’d be surprised how supportive people are, and I am grateful that I have a support system to get me through.
I never thought there would be a day I’d be happy to be alive. But I’ve learned that there is hope. There is so much hope.
