Mike
Mike
Keep at it, don’t give up
In retrospect, the diagnosis was actually a blessing. I could begin to understand the ‘visible darkness’ and the lack of sleep. The most important thing is that I had taken the first step to get help, and as the years went on, I could build on that help.
Mike had experienced depression when he was a young man, but it took him years to get a formal diagnosis and seek treatment.
I had one major episode of depression in college, and then it did not come to visit again for another 20 years. Before I was diagnosed with depression, I was over 40 years old, married with two children, a partner in one of the most successful investment banks in the country, and I loved what I was doing.
One day, Mike broke down in tears while driving. He knew something was wrong, but he didn’t know what it was. So, he drove straight to a clinic and asked to see a doctor.
At first I did not recognize the emotion. I did, however, recognize that something was going on that just wasn’t right.
At the clinic, Mike met with a doctor who asked him to take a written test.
After reviewing my answers, he said, ‘Well, you are definitely suffering from depression.’ I wasn’t exactly sure what depression was. I told him that some people thought that perhaps I was depressed, but other people who knew me well said that it was impossible because I was one of the most positive people they had ever known.
Mike wasn’t sure about the diagnosis, but he respected the doctor. They were roughly the same age and had both served in the Army. Mike found comfort in those similarities. He decided to listen to his doctor and follow his advice.
He told me there was a new medication that had been recently released that seemed to be very effective in treating depression. He said I could begin taking that, and, in several weeks, I would most likely feel better and get my sleep rhythm back.
Alternatively, I could decide not to take it and even though I would continue to have more of the same misery, it would likely lessen by itself in several months. I explained to him that I did not like to take medications I knew little about. He said that was fine, but if I changed my mind, he would give me a prescription.
After two weeks of misery, I came back for a prescription. Like a miracle, the depression began to disappear after several weeks.
“You have seen the darkness, and now, through great fortune, you can see and really appreciate the light.”
Since then, Mike has followed a treatment regimen that has enabled him to get his major depressive disorder under control. He sees a psychiatrist and has received helpful outpatient medical treatments. Mike has learned that depression is a lifelong condition, but it can be managed.
I tell people who are struggling to take the chance that you can be helped. Keep at it. Don’t give up.
Medicine has come so far in the last decades. And, if there is any silver lining to the COVID-19 pandemic, I think more and more people are aware that it is okay not to be okay about your mental health and are reaching out for help.
Looking back, Mike considers himself fortunate that he had the courage to reach out and ask for help. He wants others to find that same courage.
You have nothing to lose, except for your life if you don’t seek help. You will thank yourself every day thereafter for reaching out and seeking help, and the days and nights will seem more beautiful than they have ever been in the past.
You have seen the darkness, and now, through great fortune, you can see and really appreciate the light. You will also lift all who are around you—which in today’s world is a very welcome accomplishment.
