Lisa
Lisa
My condition is part of me, but it isn’t all of me
Lisa remembers the crash. A car blowing through the stop sign, and the Harley she was riding was no match.
At age 59, she suffered a broken femur and pelvis, two broken shoulders, and a fractured skull and wrist. It took four surgeries in nine days to piece her back together.
I would wake up crying every day in extreme pain. I couldn’t believe I was alive.
Fortunately, my family was there for me. And I was already getting treatment for a lifetime of mental health issues.
I feel light-years ahead of where I might have been if I hadn’t had that history.
That history started when she was in her 20s. Lisa describes her younger self as a “drama queen” and “partier” who leaned on drugs and alcohol to dull big mood swings—from the highest highs to the lowest lows. Those lows would sometimes result in suicidal thoughts.
During times of deep depression, I was told to ‘pull myself up by my bootstraps’ and to get ‘thicker skin.’
There were times I would fly into a blind rage. For instance, I judged someone to be manipulative and exploded at them. I’ve lost friends because of it.
At age 29, she was diagnosed with a substance use disorder as well as bipolar disorder. She went to counseling, started taking medication, and was introduced to a 12-step program.
“Don’t be afraid to deal with what is in front of you. The other side is so much better.”
It wasn’t until 25 years later that her bipolar diagnosis was changed to borderline personality disorder (BPD).
While she was upset that she had been misdiagnosed for all those years, she is grateful that mental health professionals have come a long way in their understanding of mental health challenges.
Unfortunately, many people are misdiagnosed. But when I was told this was BPD, I felt utter joy. That diagnosis sounded much more like me.
Lisa tries to educate people whenever she can about her disorder but admits that the stigma around mental health makes it difficult. She’s never sure how someone will react to her story.
She worries that the stigma will prevent those who have similar disorders from seeking help.
Throughout the years, when I shared my condition with friends, they would say ‘whoa,’ and then put a wall up.
People don’t know how to address mental health issues. I encourage everyone to ask questions and be understanding.
Today, Lisa is hopeful: she’s on the road to recovery from her physical injuries and has learned that her BPD is manageable.
She says it was a “miracle” to have survived that serious motorcycle crash and believes she was saved for a reason—to help others who are trying to manage similar mental health conditions.
We all have something … some kind of challenge. People need to realize that.
Don’t be afraid to deal with what is in front of you. The other side is so much better.
