Jen
Jen
All emotions are valid
Emotions like anger and depression make people uncomfortable, but people have a right to their emotions.
People also have a right to ask for help if their emotions are getting to be too much.
Jen knows what it’s like to have strong, sometimes scary, emotions. She grew up in an abusive family and experienced childhood trauma, including sexual, physical, and emotional abuse.
Although she started therapy as a teenager, Jen has had battles with depression that led to thoughts of suicide and a suicide attempt. She has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and major depressive disorder.
When I was young, I wasn’t allowed to talk about my sadness and anger.
Society always pushes children to ‘be a big girl’ or ‘don’t be an angry girl.’ I think it’s a generational problem.
Back then, kids were taught to keep their emotions to themselves and not make people uncomfortable, but most kids don’t have the tools to understand what that means.
These days, Jen wants to give young people the tools they need to deal with their emotions. She has developed a doll that kids can use to help them cope with destructive behavior, frustration, and depression.
“I want to help people understand that all emotions are valid, and we need to learn how to cope with those emotions and handle them in a respectful way for ourselves and others.”
The doll, which can be pulled apart (and put back together), grew out of her own experiences and those of her son, who has ADHD and has had trouble with controlling his emotions.
I was in a therapeutic group, and I was really frustrated with my symptoms—specifically my PTSD symptoms.
I said I wish I had a monster that I could rip apart and throw across the room and beat against the wall. The people in the group said, ‘Yeah, you should have that!’ So, I bought myself a sewing machine and put together my monster.
The doll is aimed at kids who need an outlet for their outbursts, sadness, and anger. It is also designed to help children better communicate their feelings to parents and therapists.
Jen believes that having a safe, non-destructive way to work through difficult emotions can be enormously helpful.
She wishes she’d had better tools to deal with her feelings when she was younger.
I wish adults had recognized warning signs. My teachers may have thought something was wrong, but they never said anything. I think many adults thought it was better that they mind their own business.
It’s more often now that adults in contact with children, such as teachers and friend’s parents, will pay closer attention if they think there might be something not quite right going on.
Today, Jen is focused on her business venture, which she hopes can help children who have had trauma in their life to open up to others and feel safe with their “buddy.”
Also, she continues to get treatment for her conditions. Drawing from her past, she wants to encourage people to be open, be honest, and be willing to express themselves, no matter how difficult that might be.
I want to help people understand that all emotions are valid, and we need to learn how to cope with those emotions and handle them in a respectful way for ourselves and others.
I never learned that as a child. I want kids today to learn that lesson.
