Jay
Jay
I am not afraid to talk about my experiences
Jay knows firsthand how the shame and stigma associated with having a mental health disorder can prevent someone from seeking help.
People didn’t take my pain seriously.
Growing up, Jay was bullied a lot—taking a toll not only on his mental health, but also on his physical health. His immune system was weak and at one point, when he was 10, he developed a serious case of shingles severe enough that he almost went blind from having it over his face and eyelids.
Life only got harder for Jay as he entered his teen years.
He started self-harming, engaging in unsafe behaviors online, and was exposed to a variety of intense interpersonal situations.
As a young person, I found it really difficult to deal with the intensity of my emotions and to ask for help. I was terrified my parents would struggle to cope with it, and I didn’t want to put them through that again.
Despite quietly struggling with a variety of mental health challenges throughout his adolescence, Jay graduated high school and earned undergraduate and master’s degrees.
Jay was living two lives. He was successful in his studies, but that was a dark contrast to how he was doing as a person, having been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
There was a lack of understanding of his symptoms by those around him, and a significant disconnect between how he was doing and how others perceived him.
It was during a trip to Brazil that Jay met his current psychologist and began the long path to recovery. Realizing that he had the ability to help others who live with mental health conditions, Jay decided to move forward with his professional goal to research personality disorders.
“Searching for the right support is as much a journey as recovery is. It took me a few years to find somebody who was the best fit, and that’s okay.”
He is currently working as an active research coordinator, researching experiences of mental health with a focus on sensory experiences in BPD.
I don’t want to be a researcher who just puts things down on paper and publishes articles.
I would rather get out there and try to do things for the community and be very active with my voice. I have these experiences, and I am not afraid to talk about them.
Jay believes that the Deconstructing Stigma campaign has the power to work toward combating and eliminating stigma, particularly in professional environments.
He also believes that the campaign offers people struggling with BPD the opportunity to feel seen and identify with others.
BPD has had an impact on my life personally and professionally.
There are significant barriers and stigma toward people with lived experience in clinical care and research. I want to help eliminate this wall.
Just because you don’t find somebody that fits you the first time doesn’t mean you won’t find someone. You deserve the support you are asking for, even if navigating the system sometimes makes you feel like you don’t.
Searching for the right support is as much a journey as recovery is. It took me a few years to find somebody who was the best fit, and that’s okay.
Jay hopes that his story will help others overcome their fear and worries about accessing the support they deserve—even if they are experiencing judgments that they don’t deserve.
Through sharing my story, I want to empower others to confront their mental health struggles and help reduce stigma associated with them.
