Travis
Travis
Now that I understand, I have empathy
Travis was a movie buff growing up. So the words “mental health” reminded him of characters like Anthony Hopkins in “The Silence of the Lambs” or Jack Nicholson in “The Shining.”
I lived in a rural town on the East Coast where we didn’t talk about mental health.
I understood there were psychiatry centers and resources, but the depictions I saw always involved violent, intense people—like school shooters.
After Travis’ parents got divorced, he lived with his mom. He recalls that while his mom was not violent, she experienced difficult mood swings and, sometimes, emotional outbursts. She also would make impulsive decisions. Travis would try to approach his mom with his concerns but always felt like he “was walking on eggshells.”
Travis had no other family. He could either ignore his mother’s actions, or he could forcefully step in. Because he loved his mother, he decided to sit down with her and have a difficult conversation.
Through that talk, he was shocked to learn his mother had visited doctors and psychologists for mental health issues over the years.
One of my biggest growths through this is learning that a mental health condition isn’t something that a person can easily control.
There’s a shift from thinking about someone as an angry and frustrating person to being a person with a condition.
That’s allowed me to have more patience with my mom.
“If we can break through the uncomfortableness of admitting something is wrong, there is help.”
As a caretaker, Travis says he often felt isolated and alone—as if he was the only person on the planet to have a loved one dealing with mental health challenges.
He suggests anyone going through something similar should look into joining a family support group. Sharing stories with others, he says, really makes a difference.
That’s one of the reasons that Travis, now a filmmaker, created a documentary detailing how a difficult conversation about mental health can change the course of a relationship.
If we can break through the uncomfortableness of admitting something is wrong, there is help. The best thing I can do is to stop micromanaging my mom’s life.
Now that I understand, I have empathy, and I’ll be there where I can as a supportive and loving son.
