Katherine
Katherine
Deciding to get help was the hardest thing I’ve done
Not asking for help was hell, and deciding to get help was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. However, it was the thing that literally saved my life.
As long as Katherine can remember, she struggled with anxiety and panic attacks. In fact, Katherine’s mother says she was born with anxiety, that she “came out” anxious. As a kid, Katherine would throw long temper tantrums, which lasted for hours and hours.
I could not get myself to calm down. I never wanted these tantrums—or for them to last.
Katherine’s problem intensified into her teenage years as she developed an abnormal eating disorder. She had negative thoughts about her body, began body checking, and skipped meals.
Katherine says that her family was facing some struggles during this time in her life, and that her eating disorder may have been “some kind of coping skill.” By the time she entered early adulthood, however, things got worse.
At 21, my ex-boyfriend told me I was fat, and I began to take excessive amounts of laxatives, purge, and over-exercise.
In 2014, Katherine decided to enter treatment for her eating disorder. She took part in a partial hospitalization program for two months and an evening program for four months. But, by 2017, Katherine still did not feel “emotionally right.”
I went to my psychiatrist, and, after a long discussion, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder II. Since then, I’ve been on the right medication, and life has been so much better.
Today, Katherine holds two master’s degrees and works in the field of applied behavior analysis. She loves her job.
I wouldn’t have any of those things if I let my mental health condition win.
From her experience, she is concerned that the words we use to discuss mental health can stigmatize and traumatize those who need help.
In all honesty, bipolar is just a word for uneven brain chemistry, which can be fixed with medication and therapy.
I also am weary of the term ‘eating disorder,’ because when you say that, people think of dramatic teenage girls. It is not a teenage disease. It is a life disease, which can be helped by being healthy, eating right, and staying present during the day.
Katherine encourages people to speak out about mental health and work toward solutions.
There should be more open, honest conversations about mental health. By spreading awareness and understanding, perhaps we can diagnose more people and save lives.
