Dani
Dani
It’s possible for life to get better
For decades, Dani’s symptoms related to schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) seriously impacted her quality of life. Starting in her twenties, she was hospitalized several times when she was experiencing psychosis and was suicidal.
Her life began to improve when she started taking medication to manage her symptoms, and she experienced a turning point during a hospitalization at the age of 50.
Something happened in that hospital stay when I came out of the psychosis.
I looked at my life and how many years I’d been in and out of hospitals after not taking my medications. I realized I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in hospitals.
I made the firm decision to take my meds so I could have a better life and a better marriage. I haven’t been hospitalized since.
Today, Dani takes an antipsychotic medication and a mood stabilizer, which she credits with decreasing her hallucinations and ending her thoughts of suicide.
She acknowledges that the side effects of antipsychotic medications can be very challenging.
Fortunately, I don’t experience a lot of side effects. I’ve been on an antipsychotic medication for a while.
I do have tardive dyskinesia, so I shake a lot, and I have facial movements that aren’t too bad.
But taking the medication has probably saved my life.
Another factor in Dani’s healing has been her efforts to stop drinking alcohol.
My alcoholism was intertwined with my mental health. Getting sober was the first primary success that I had. It led to other successes, like the decision to take my meds on a regular basis.
With alcohol out of the picture, Dani started taking better care of herself. She also worked hard to connect with people in the community. Early in her recovery, she attended three 12-step recovery meetings a day.
I went a lot because I was newly sober. At the meetings, people started asking me to breakfast, barbecues, and things like that. I took a chance.
It was scary because I didn’t know anybody and felt a lot of anxiety. But I made an honest effort to do what I needed to do to stay sober. I couldn’t imagine that I’d be doing so well more than ten years later.
“I couldn’t imagine that I’d be doing so well more than ten years later.”
Dani worked as a social worker and an EMT. She was raised with a strong work ethic. This made it difficult for her to accept that she needed to receive disability benefits because her symptoms interfere with her ability to maintain employment.
I went on and off disability three times because I kept wanting to go back to work, and then it didn’t work out.
By the third time I went on disability, I began the process of accepting that I wasn’t going to be able to work. It was a difficult adjustment because I’d call myself a failure.
Thankfully Dani has found purpose by focusing on her recovery from alcohol addiction. She also serves on NAMI’s Speakers Bureau, where she educates members of law enforcement about mental health challenges and alcoholism.
She continues to attend recovery meetings, sees a therapist weekly for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (EMDR), and belongs to a women’s veterans support group.
Dani is grateful for the support of her husband, mental health counselor, friends, church, and recovery communities.
It’s possible for life to get better. I was 50 years old by the time I accepted responsibility and began to take my medications on a daily basis.
Hope and perseverance really helped me out a lot. I’m glad I never gave up.
