Blair

Growing up, Blair’s mother was hypercritical, and her father was physically and emotionally absent. This bleak upbringing made her wary of others and gave her a nagging inferiority complex. Her mother strived for an improved version of herself while her physician dad remained detached.

Blair has schizoid personality disorder (SPD), a condition in which individuals have little, if any, interest in forming relationships and struggle to express what they feel.

SPD undermines developing confidence. Low self-esteem, being in one’s own little world, and missing cues will overshadow one’s life.

At school, teachers found Blair unmotivated and indolent in spite of her clear intelligence and potential. Blair’s anxiety manifested as tardiness, distraction, and uncaring behavior that was met with a negative response. But Blair was misunderstood.

My chronic tardiness and ineptitude were symptoms of my emotional state. I and other people with this disorder don’t willfully inconvenience or harm others.

In spite of SPD, Blair graduated from a prestigious college in good standing. She moved to New York City hopeful of a publishing career, but her disorder sabotaged her ability to work and self-support.

“Social skills outweigh job skills, which can be taught. The commercial, competitive world of the big city is a disastrous place for someone who is awkward and chronically tardy like me.”

When Blair was 33 and experiencing a mental health crisis, she sought treatment for the first time. After taking an extensive history and performing tests, her therapist diagnosed Blair with schizoid personality disorder and explained the condition. The therapist highlighted that a major difference between Blair and her successful, goal-driven classmates was that they came from stable homes where the outlook was more positive.

Blair believes SPD can be thwarted if parents foster a supportive family environment and a more balanced approach.

Caregivers can prevent SPD by simply understanding that a child’s only defense is not to listen. Overwhelmingly, negative or critical parents force their kids to withdraw. Kids will learn to stop listening, and this self-destructive defense will stick.

Therapy gave Blair more insight into her condition. Although she still struggles with SPD, she now has a meaningful life as an author. The solitary nature of this pursuit suits her. During the COVID-19 pandemic, she penned a critically acclaimed memoir about her life with SPD. She hopes the book will help others, especially mental health providers, better understand the condition. Blair is currently working on a book about the late Caleb Carr.

Through volunteer work with animal welfare organizations and health charities, Blair gained perspective on her own good fortune and became more comfortable around other people.

Despite the fact that SPD makes it hard for her to interact with others, she communicates with her elder sister, sees friends occasionally, and loves living with her clowder—her group of three cats—and fostering more. It is her firm wish that others realize that those with SPD and other mental health challenges are worthy of respect.

Mental health conditions are misapprehended as violent. Those who are different are fundamentally dignified beings who deserve to be treated as such.