Deconstructing Stigma

Deconstructing Stigma

Changing Attitudes About Mental Health

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The Campaign

Deconstructing Stigma: Changing Attitudes About Mental Health is a series of larger-than-life photographs and interviews with people from across the United States and beyond who have been affected by mental illness.

Since the campaign’s initial physical installation at Boston’s Logan International Airport, it has found homes in various US states, and has traveled the world with pop-up installations across the United States and in almost every inhabited continent. The installations, website, and the companion books serve to capture the complexity of living with a psychiatric disorder, seeking treatment, navigating insurance and healthcare systems, and facing stigma.

Told through the eyes of its participants, Deconstructing Stigma boldly challenges the misconceptions of what those with mental illness look like. The volunteers in this project are more than just statistics or nameless faces. They are mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, lawyers, doctors, engineers, musicians, and more. Each one has been affected by mental illness, and each one has also faced stigma.

Travelers look at airport exhibit — The physical installation of Deconstructing Stigma, on view now at Boston’s Logan Airport

Stigma—it’s an ugly word, and it’s even uglier to experience. Yet 75% of people with mental illness say they have endured the pain of stigma. Despite the concerns of being labeled and risking further stigma, the volunteers in this project are courageously sharing their stories of hope and resilience so that you will have an opportunity to “walk in their shoes” and perhaps step away with a different view of what it is like to have a mental illness.

1 in 5 Americans will experience mental illness in his or her lifetime. It is something that affects us all. If you are struggling with symptoms of an illness, or if you feel like no one would understand what you’re experiencing, this campaign is for you. You are not alone.

This project was developed by McLean Hospital, in partnership with local and national organizations. Together, we are deconstructing stigma, and together, we are changing lives.

Anne

I can change the way I think; I can improve my life

Anne had always dreamed of becoming a mother. Fantasizing about having children of her own for much of her life, her expectations were shattered the moment that she gave birth to her son.

The reality of motherhood turned out to be very different from the life that she had pictured for herself—postpartum depression set in, and it carried a feeling of immense shame.

As a mom with postpartum depression, everyone assumes that means you want to kill or harm your child. But for me, my postpartum was different. I wanted to die or run away—I wanted my old life back.

I did not want to be a mom from the moment he was born. My whole life, I wanted to be a mom, and I was so disappointed the moment it happened. So, I felt very embarrassed by that.

In addition to the internal battle Anne faced with her new family dynamic, communicating how she honestly felt with her husband and son posed a challenge as well. Anne had to navigate the complex reality of both loving her son and resenting motherhood.

It can be excruciating at times. Sometimes, I still feel like I’m experiencing postpartum depression. My son is going to be 7 soon and I still find myself thinking, ‘I can’t believe I have to do this forever.’ I feel like I just want my old life back even though I love my son so much. I keep a lot of that inside.

With the depression affecting her work, Anne reached a tipping point when she was let go from her job. She began to believe that she was not good enough and had feelings of wanting to die. So, Anne reached out for help.

She pursued further mental health treatment and discovered that she has borderline personality disorder (BPD). Instead of feeling like a punishment, the diagnosis empowered her.

It gave me, for the first time, an identity, as silly as that sounds. It made me realize, ‘Oh, that’s what’s wrong with me,’ and ‘Here’s why,’ through past events and things in my life. It makes sense. It’s not just spontaneous, and I’m not depressed for no reason. I’d still rather be a normal person without these struggles, but it’s also comforting to have an answer.

Although the diagnosis brought her relief, Anne has also faced the stigma that BPD carries. She finds that many of the people around her do not understand the day-to-day reality of the diagnosis. A couple of family members even thought of mental health as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for oneself and assumed she just wanted attention.

However, Anne feels the impacts of BPD on a more profound level than many give her credit for.

I feel like I’m struggling every second of the day. I wish people could understand that. If somebody looks at me the wrong way, that could ruin my whole day. It’s this weird fear of abandonment, and it doesn’t matter because they might just be a person that I work with or someone that I see at the coffee shop every day.

But then the opposite of that is when someone smiles at me or treats me kindly, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, they love me; I am amazing.’ I get this high from outside validation, and it’s not sustainable.

Although Anne’s diagnosis helped her understand the “why” behind her thoughts and behaviors, she sought further help at a partial hospitalization program to treat her increasing suicidality and depression. Even though she had chosen to be there, Anne felt conflicted about being at the program, but ultimately, the patients were where she found hope.

Finding a community of like-minded women helped Anne immensely in her recovery. Before the partial program, she felt isolated in her thoughts and feelings. However, the vulnerability of the other patients throughout the program pushed her to grow and connect with others.

It made me realize that I’m not alone at all in these thoughts. Hearing their stories, I am not alone at all. We have this group text where we just check in on each other once a week. We are all still connected and caring for each other.

With the support of these women, her family, and tools like dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), Anne feels that she is gaining the ability to manage her symptoms. She admits that some days are harder than others.

There are still days when I feel like things are completely out of my control, and I hate my life and can’t get better. But deep down, I know that it’s in my control. There are so many tools out there, like DBT, to get me through this.

I can change the way I think, and that is empowering because I can improve my life.