Even through challenges and defeating moments, there is still hope
Julie is no stranger to the challenges that mental health stigma often brings.
I had a supportive family growing up and I was a very outgoing child until around middle school. That is when I began to face severe bullying. This caused me to turn inward and fall into a deep depression.
At the age of 12, Julie was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. She was able to get through her middle school and high school years by focusing her attention on her love for softball and her relationship with her father, who was her rock in the face of so much adversity. However, attempting to manage her depressive symptoms and suicidal ideation was a constant battle she faced.
I would not talk to anyone about my depression because I had so much shame and confusion around it. I felt like I was broken, and I had done something wrong.
In college, Julie found an interest in teaching. Shortly after graduation, she moved away from her home state and embarked on a journey to become a special education teacher. While Julie found great fulfillment and success in this position, being away from her support system began to take a toll on her, and her depressive symptoms began to increase.
I continued trying new therapists, but I never seemed to find the right fit. I began to really struggle and could no longer perform at work in the same way I once did.
Julie was officially diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) at the age of 24. She did not find a supportive environment within her workplace, and as her mental health struggles continued to escalate, she decided to move back home to be with her family.
My family is very supportive. In the thick of things, they took time to educate themselves about mental health disorders. My parents even started a family training course and support group through the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) in our town.
Julie’s battle with treatment-resistant depression, anxiety, trauma, and BPD was never perfectly linear, yet she continued to advocate for herself and her needs.
After working with many therapists throughout the years, Julie eventually found the right fit for her. Additionally, she found some success through various treatment options. Things began to look up as she worked toward finishing up her master’s degree in social work.
Throughout my journey with mental health, I have seen the good and the bad of the mental health field. Even through all the bad, there is hope, even if it may be really hard to recognize. Treatment is out there and there’s a therapist for you. You have to fight to find your way.
The unwavering support of her family, as well as finding a new therapist that she could rely on, were crucial aspects of Julie’s journey that gave her hope for the future. In 2019 and 2020, Julie faced her toughest challenges yet as she unexpectedly lost her long-time therapist and, shortly after, her dad, who passed away after a long battle with dementia.
I remember speaking on the phone with my therapist and saying ‘See you tomorrow,’ not knowing I would never see him again. With my dad in a nursing home and the uncertainty of my care, I felt my world crumbling around me. Thankfully, a therapist who knew my history agreed to see me and continues to support me today.
When I got the phone call saying my dad was passing, I thought it would be impossible to go on without him. But with my support system’s help, I knew I had to try. I knew the people who got me through some of my darkest times would’ve wanted it that way.
Julie’s mental health journey has encompassed many ups and downs. However, even in the face of these defeating moments, she continued to remain resilient and hopeful. Julie is now dedicating her life to bettering the mental health field through her work as an individual therapist for youth and young adults.
I’m finally feeling like I’m becoming the person I’m really meant to be as I work toward rebuilding. Although it can be hard to persevere through the challenges, if you find the right support, there is always hope for a brighter future.